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My father
发布时间:2014-05-31 14:14:16 作者:张池  发布者:huashuicici 浏览次数:2611  类别:英文作文  
[大学一年级] 河南省 >> 郑州市 >> 金水区 >> 龙子湖街道祭城路


                          M y father


     When I was young, I always afraid of my father. I don't know this is why. Perhaps he always was strict with me and made me frighten him. With the time goes, and I grown up, I found that my father was my idol. And I love him very much because he gave me many valuable things and much love.

      In my memories, my father who was a strict person to himself children. I deeply remember that I didn't like math and it was a trouble for me, so my math was so bad. My father knew that I didn't like math, therefore, he thought a way which made me love math. The way was that my  father let me used stick to count, so I was crying and counting at that time. From then on , I had improved a lot of my math. When I was a child, I always thought my father didn't love me, and didn't care to me. In fact, it was not that. Now, I have grown , I know he also love me but he don't show up, and we all know that parents love their children very much, just they use different ways to express it.

     My father affected me deeply, and I'm adored him very much. Also because he is a good father, when I fall, he would encourage me stand up again and told me that when  you facing difficulties and never afraid of it or avoid it, because difficulties always would be solved. Sometimes, even if I make a mistake, he didn't hit me, while he would teach me that doing something must think it twice and do not mistake again. So I think that my father is a so kind father, and he always is my love of idol. 

     Now, I am a college student, I know that I can do that because my father encourage me and help me, let me fly in the free sky. Therefore, here, I want to tell him that "Thank you, my dear father, and I love you very much." Thanks for you give me live and give me everything. I can make a difference, and I could make efforts to myself and make your proud, This always my dream.

教师点评:
  • 批改教师:王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
    批改时间:2014/6/4 22:42:16
    点评指数:
    点评内容:

    When I was young, I was always afraid of my father. I don't (didn't) know this is why. Perhaps he always was strict with me and made me frighten him. With (As) the time goes (went by) and I grown up, I found that my father was my idol. And I loved him very much because he gave me many valuable things (fortunes) and much love.

    In my memories, my father who was a strict person (man) to himself (for his) children (daughter).I deeply remembered that I didn't like math and it was a trouble for me, so my math was so bad. My father knew that I didn't like math, therefore, he thought a way which made (to making) me love math. The way was that my  father let me used stick to count, so I was crying and counting at that time. From then on , I had improved a lot of my math. When I was a child, (Thus) I always thought my father didn't love me, and didn't care to (for) me. In fact, it was not that. Now, I have grown up, I know he also loves me but he don't show up (didn't express it in a proper way) and we all know that parents love their children very much, just they use different ways to express it.

    My father affected me deeply, and I'm adored him very much. Also because (since) he is a good father, when I fall, (am failed) he would (will) encourage me to stand up again and told (tell) me that when  you facing difficulties and you are never afraid of it or avoid it, because difficulties (issues) always would be solved in the end. Sometimes, even if I make a mistake, he didn't (doesn't) hit me, while he would (but) teaches me that doing something must think it twice and do not mistake again (how to do it in right ways).So I think that my father is a so kind father, and he always is my love of idol.

    Now, I am a college student, I know that I can do that because of my father's encouragement me and help me. let me fly up freely in the free sky. Therefore, here, I want to tell him that "Thank you, my dear father, and I love you very much." Thanks for you give (giving) me live and give me everything. I can make a difference, and I could make efforts to (for) myself and make your (you) be proud of me , This is always my dream.

    写的依旧不怎么样,但从文章整体看还不是毫无希望。

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