交文友,学写作,就到作文批改网! | 收藏本站专版专栏 |RSS订阅     欢迎,朋友 | 免费注册会员登录
 
设为首页
收藏本站
会员中心
批改符号说明:

绿底为优美黄底为瑕疵红底为错字(括号里边为间批)中间横线为删除上标符号添加字文下隔行写点评,点评内容用红字,红双线‖”处段另起(分段).

 

Unforgettable one day
发布时间:2014-05-20 21:56:33 作者:张池  发布者:huashuicici 浏览次数:2795  类别:英文作文  
[大学一年级] 河南省 >> 郑州市 >> 金水区 >> 龙子湖街道祭城路


                   Unforgettable one day


      Today was sunday, and the climate was fine, the sun raised in the sky . We were happy to go hiking, and had a picnic with my roommates, we did some shopping and then went to the bus station. Our good memories were still last long, even if we got into some trouble.

       Last night , we searched the routine , and planned the trip place. The next day , we got up at 7:30 am. When all things were ready, we went to station, and waited the bus for our destination. The bus was so crowed that we could hardly a breathe. But when we arrived destination, we all felt so blissful. Our first part was "The Forest Park", when we went into the park ,it was so dirty and smog , then we were so tired and unhappy. So we decided to go to other places.

      After we had lanch, we went shopping . We took photos throughtout the journey and all fell asleep on the way to school.

      In all, we thought that day was  meaningful, because we all got together and improved our friendship. At the same time, we also knew more about Zhengzhou and its culture and custom. Finally , although we felt tired especially walking  , we thought we had exercise. The day was unforgettable for us !

教师点评:
  • 批改教师:王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
    批改时间:2014/5/18 7:01:16
    点评指数:
    点评内容:

    Today was sun day (Sunday) and the climate was fine, sunshine (the sun) raised in the sky . We were so happy that we went (to go) to outside as a trip (hiking) we have ate (and had a picnicwith each others together who were my roommates.we went to station by bus together, we also went shopping together (We did some shopping and then went to the bus station). It recorded our good memory (memorieswere still last long even if we got into some trouble, while we were so pleasure return school.

    Last night , we looked though (searched) the road line (routine) and planed (planned) the trip place. The next day , we got up at 7:30 am. When all things were ready, we went to station and waited the bus to (forour destination. On the bus which was so crowed that made us we could not hardly take a breathe. But when we arrived destination, we all felt so blissful. Our first process (part) was "The Forest Park".when we went into the park,there (it) was so dirty and smog then we all felt (were) so tired and unhappy. So we decided that we went (to go) to other places.

    When (After) we had ate (lanch),we went shopping . When we went to school by bus which we all sleeping together and took photos in the along line. (We took photos throughout the journey and all fell asleep on the way to school.)

    In all,we thought today (that day) was  meaningful for us,because we all gather (got) together with each others and improved our friendship. At the same time, we also knew more about Zhengzhou and there (its) culture and custom. Finally although we felt tired that especially walking we thought we had exercise. The day was unforgettable for us !

李之怡 共164篇 推荐7 优秀5
姜恩泽 共108篇 推荐22 优秀10
刘鼎轩 共98篇 推荐36 优秀24
马维霞 共80篇 推荐0 优秀1
陈永娟 共64篇 推荐15 优秀9
江秋 共63篇 推荐2 优秀2
陈乐乐 共60篇 推荐3 优秀0
胡豆儿 共59篇 推荐9 优秀7
房云玲 共57篇 推荐47 优秀5
董千里 共55篇 推荐30 优秀22
友情链接:百度   新华网   人民网   中国政府网   凤凰网   央视网  卫星地图  大师邦
关于本站 | 合作加盟 | 积分计划 | 联系我们 | 投稿须知 | 版权声明 | 问题解答
作文批改网 www.duzhenfang.com 地址:山东省临沂市罗庄区 电话:13864984078.
备案编号:鲁ICP备12014725号-1,设计制作:作文批改网
203.125毫秒